For some odd reason 2008 has started off to be a year where I feel as though I need to be taking more responsibility for how I am conducting myself and where I am investing my time. Trust me I wasn't usually like this. If you know me, you will know that I am a carefree individual, but it's almost like I got a slap in the face saying: "It's time" (or maybe it was my pride and not wanting to grow up...yes that's it!)
I have been seeing how God is placing situations before me which are not ideal (in my eyes atleast). Last semester I experienced deep intimacy with God, but it took some humbling before I could get to that point. Now I find that there are situations that I am in that make me cringe and wiggle in my seat and ask Him why I need to do it like this or say it like that...but then I remember, when the day of judgement comes, I need to give an account of what I have done for Him, no one else. Not to say that is my motivation for what I do, I want everyone to know Jesus in a personal way, but it comes at great cost.
I guess I am still learning that I don't live to please people. People may not agree with the way that I live my life and I have to be ok with that it if I want to follow long and hard after Jesus and the plan he has for me. I guess today I was convicted once again of how much I love to please people. But when you think about it, Jesus sure didn't make everyone happy, so neither will I, it's impossible.
Me trying to please people doesn't do me any good. No one wins. I end up burning out and people miss the grace of God. Not cool! I have better things to focus my time on. I am called to help fulfill the Great Comission in this generation, meaning I cannot dwell on my actions, so my actions need to be ones that Glorify God and essentially, I need to realize I live for God and not for people.
First lesson learnt the hard way! Stay tunned for the next episode, when I...