Thursday, December 20, 2012

A waiting game

I've never really been one for waiting.  I've never been marked as a woman with great patience.  Maybe that is part of the reason I am on this little journey with my neck.

I was saying to my dad in the car ride home from the chiropractor's the other day that the last thing I want is to be a grumpy person that no one likes to be around because of my condition.  I mean, as far as I know its nothing terminal and even if it was, I know the Lord, so I have nothing to fear.

But I guess it made me realize how much I was taking my health for granted.  It made me realize I was putting far too much of my worth in my work, looks and "great personality".

The Lord broke me.

I had so many plans of being super woman {I struggle with having a savior complex}.  I wanted to save my money like crazy, go back to school and get a Masters in youth counseling and work with youth on a regular basis.  I firmly believed and still do in my heart that they are the next generation leading the Church and they need people who are there for them and will teach them in truth.  I believed and still believe that is my calling.

But those plans are on hold as I figure out what is wrong with my neck.  And everything is really on hold right now as we wait for the MRI results to get sent to my Doctor {still waiting on that one}. 

I have to be ok with not hearing results now until the New Year, which prolongs the amount of time I am off work.  I see my fist slightly opening to God's will.  Being ok with waiting, being ok with trusting.  Being ok with Matt 6:26

Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? {ESV}

These birds don't do anything, and God provides.  I am of more value than these birds and I can't work and sometimes even feed myself because my neck twists and turns SO much.  My God will provide.


Loni said...

Come to Montreal! I'll feed you, sweet girl! :) God will definitely provide, and bring comfort. Love you!

amanda marvin said...

What I would not give for some of your home cooked butter chicken and one of Andy's lattes! Hopefully sometime in the near future ;)