Friday, January 4, 2013

MRI Results and Next Steps

I have never been one for crying.  I like bottling my emotions up inside.  I like to appear strong.  I like the look that nothing and no one can break me.

Well, these past few days have been days of brokenness. 

I got results back from my MRI and nothing came through...great right?

Well, kinda sorta, now we are back to square one trying to figure out what is going on with my neck.

Yesterday as I was sitting in my Doctor's office, he asked me how I was doing and that's when the water works began.

I began telling him how frustrated I was, that this really has put my life on pause.  I can barely do anything for myself because I am so fatigued and I feel a HUGE sense of guilt not being able to help out around the house.

So he ordered more blood work and is going to hunt for a great Neurologist for me ;)

I also went into my Chiropractor today {who btw is AMAZING!} and she had done a TONNE of research for me and thinks it may be Dystonia {which is a form of torticollis}.

Now there are treatment options; medication or botox {which I am SUPER opposed to}, however we still need a Neurologist to look at me and give me a proper diagnosis.  Then we can discuss the best treatment option.

I had another good cry today as I laid on the table at the Chiropractors.  It was me coming to terms with reality, realizing this maybe something I have lifelong and asking, begging God to help me be ok with that.

It's been quite a journey, that's not over yet! My weeks are full of physio, chiropractic, massage therapy and counseling.  I've realized that not only has this taken a toll on my body physically but it has mentally and I want to address those fears, anxieties and lies now before satan gets more of a foothold. 

I NEVER thought that this is where I would be end 2012/beginning 2013 but something I do know for sure, I hope and pray that someone is encouraged by this and that my Savior is ever more glorified.

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